deep-fried scotland

And now for the darker side of Scottish cuisine: that which is plunged into oil. I didn’t sample much of it, but I saw enough of it. Let’s go chronologically. First, the small-town supermarket.

Yup, haggis, blood pudding, and even Spam. “Succulent pieces of Spam covered in a deliciously light and crispy golden batter”. Ha! If that isn’t lipstick on a pig (ahahaha!), I don’t know what is. Anyway, this was just supermarket cooler merchandise (only a pound! How cheap!) – the real goods lay in the late-night frieries (my term. I think they’re actually called chippers or chippies or chipperies. Something like that.)

That’s what you see when you walk in. Everything covered in batter and a deep golden colour. The menu offered fish and chips, deep-fried hamburgers, deep-fried pizza, and deep-fried chocolate bars, amongst other things that I no longer remember. We had just eaten, so I didn’t feel like any of the deep-friend meals they offered, but I did have to try a deep-friend Mars Bar. They also had a couple of other chocolate bars, though I can’t recall which at the moment. Maybe Oh Henry? It would have to be something with nougat so that there would be something there to withstand the intense heat of the oil, as they cook that sucker for a solid minute or more.

As you can see, it comes out soaked in grease (for obvious reasons). It is kind of nice and melty, a bit of that salty vs. sweet battle going on, though my mind was shouting at me that it was so wrong to be eating it. My teeth hurt afterward. I finished it as the Pretenders (whom we had been following around Scotland, it seemed) finished their set up the road at the giant stadium set up in the castle. Not an experience I’ll soon forget for many reasons, but that sums up pretty much my whole visit to Scotland.

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